Has one ever let their guard down for someone and had it ripped out from underneath their feet, that one slowly loses balance. Losing all rhythm of motion, that one takes a crashing fall. In wonders on how oneself managed to get here in the first place. While keeping oneself grounded by the tallest of walls it’s hard to ever imagine rock bottom. Forgetting, how cold the bottom has become, they say it’s as cold as ice; their right. Bittered, to the frost that fills the cracks in the walls oneself has built. Thinking how did everything become so dark and cold. Reaching out into the cold crisp air as if someone was there to touch, one becomes weak and unable to see properly. Eyes faded by the unseen truths of another.
With the findings in oneself internally are far worse, then imaginable, feelings of emptiness, and voids being made to be filled. Trying your best to any bit of positivity that still lingered inside. Soon fades into nothing, leaving oneself bittered and broken figuring it’s better this way. Feeling thyself lose all sight of happiness, one struggles to stay sane. With being off balanced one tends to swim deeper off scale, making it incredibly easy to stay at the bottom, with no movement to be had. Staying put in the nonexistence.
As soon as oneself realizes this can’t get any worse, it does. Just then all the walls oneself has built comes crashing down one by one like the domino effect. Looking all over watching their world fall apart. Struggling to pick oneself up off the frozen bottom and truck through the painful realizations hidden trapped in the worst place ever, the mind. They say the mind is a dangerous place when one has already broken down. It’s like one a prisoner in one’s own mind. Not only is oneself sitting on a hard, icy bottom but all walls are crashing, their mind is also playing tricks on them. Making it hard to distinguish what’s real and what’s fake. A nightmare life one longed to stray from, one in which one is now in.
Despite, the torturous feelings and the unbearable, demeaning mindful thoughts. One begins to wonder when the walls were as high as the clouds, and the bottom wasn’t so cold. How easy it was to pick oneself up after every fall, thinking; Where is this strong willed individual? Where have they gone? Realizing in that very moment that they haven’t gone anywhere, they’ve been here the whole time. But, were replanting during the storm. Replanting, in a sense of planting seeds for a stronger growth. So this cold storm doesn’t return and if it does we’ll be ready.
By: Kelsie Lynn♡