Hardly being able to keep it together, barely holding on. Looking aimlessly all around and noticing the rare but gray areas that stand between life and self. Filling up with the most depletion but never feeling defeated. Taking every ounce of knowledge and trying their best to remain in control. A feeling of doubt absorbs the mind, creating a shield of thick armor around the body.

Understanding that everybody is dealt with a different set of cards than the other remaining with full power in one’s life but still feeling unworthy. Many things transpire through the mind of one scarcely depending on the reality versus the illusion. That has been made up for some time now.
Investments and relationships between one and others have completely come to a halt of exertion. Exertion is the fact that others are willing to proceed with another’s struggles to benefit themselves. Becoming very foreign to the other seems that they no longer associate with what does not serve them to their highest of good.

Be that as it may, it’s alarming to one to take the acknowledging aspect that the cards that are being dealt aren’t at the fairest of hands. Consistently but constantly absorbing negative but still trying to grasp the positive in any aspect of life.
Regardless of Good and Evil at this point, it’s what’s right and what’s wrong. One cannot let the depletion of others destroy all they have built. Especially when it is of no benefit to them.

There’s a fine line between loving somebody wholeheartedly for who they are, accepting them for all that one has already accepted, and purposely diminishing everything they built and disguising it as your own. Becomes worrisome to another that it’s only good enough when it benefits somebody else’s situation, people, places, and things.
But also one has a lot to say they can’t help but just be silenced kicking themselves for wanting to be heard but with the listening ears of another, their goals seem completely irrationalized.
Hitting dead end after dead end realizing that although one feels silenced they have an earning desire to be heard in the most regimented way possible. Slowly unpacking all resources and using them to their highest ability.

It seems that although feeling unbearably misled, the objective of the matter is how does one make it better. Better for themselves not just for now but for as long as they may need. How does one continuously pick up from where they left off and it just not be worthy enough of the eye of the beholder? The questions that swarm one’s mind into acknowledging that one sits at tables that are no longer fit for their appetite.
Pondering the thought that although they serve at a higher frequency than others it becomes troubling to know. To not only know but to understand that it’s okay to stand alone. That if anything it shows stability, resilience, and courage. It shows these things in a matter of not giving up at the drop of a dime just because it doesn’t benefit them in the way that they thought. Not even taking into consideration what they want.

A feeling of uneasiness travels through the body because it’s been a long time since one has acknowledged all their hard work. And despite how it may seem to another person one person’s path is another person’s Journey so regardless of how one may look at the world, everybody’s world is different.
By: Kelsie Lynn Sciacca